The word cancer is never one that is expected. It hits like a rock and steals your breath as its meaning slowly bleeds into the brain. No words can fix it. No desire can change it. It simply is...and there is only waiting. When my mom told me about the cancer I thought my heart would literally break inside of me. The greatest fear is anything hurting her. I would protect her with everything in me and guard her and there is nothing i can do. I have no control and the only thing i can do it leave it in the hands of the one who created her...but He was also who also let my father die all those years ago. How do you trust? How do you believe He loves her more than I ever could? How do you lay at His feet and plead with everything you have inside of you...because I love her more than I could ever lose myself. I am so afraid and yet it all feels so surreal. So untouchable....
Father God help me to trust you. Lord God heal my mom. I pray Father that you touch her with your mighty hand and remove any cancer...any trace of any cells and leave her healthy and cancer free. Lord God I plead with you to let her healing bring faith to so many...let it be evidence of your power. I thank you Lord that you love her more than I ever could. Please Lord, heal her body and mind. Bring her peace. I pray for her doctor Lord that you would give him precision and wisdom. I pray for steady hands and for him to be gentle and efficient...that he would see her for who she is and not just another number...the amazing woman of God that she is and take the care any of us would take of her. I pray for people everywhere to lift her up to you and to pray for a miracle. Lord heal her. I know you are able to do all things. Make her healthier than she was before...you are good. Help me to trust in you. Forever trust in you...with my heart...with finding a husband. Lord heal my own heart from the past pain...help me to walk into freedom. I need you to be the center of who I am. I need you to be the center of my life. I need your love. I need your hope. I need your strength because I have nothing left. Be my everything. Help me be strong for my mom. Lord God I need her. Please know how much i need her. I love you. Thank you for hearing my heart. I believe your healing has begun, even now. You are faithful.
About Me
- finding freedom
- I am just a girl, a woman, who is ready to experience more in life then the chains and bondage of an eating disorder. This lifelong battle has taken more from me then I ever thought possible. I thought I had found a way to control the crazy world around me and what I really found was a life totally out of control. There is no explanation for why I am still alive today...except that the Lord has a plan beyond my understanding. I believe total freedom is possible and that it is only possible through Jesus. It isn't pretty or always positive. I surely don't have the answers but as I hold fast to my faith I believe the ground will appear under me as I step out in confident assurance of He who is greater than this world. He has overcome... and by His grace He has promised that I will as well.
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